You've Got To Be Kidding

About 2-3 times a year, I dye my hair (gasp!) with L'oreal's multi-tonal groovy, cool hair color and highlighting kit (that really is it's name - I think). It's two techniques all rolled into one nifty little package.

A few weeks ago, it was time to do the hair thing. This kit has turned out quite nicely for a number of years now, but this time the highlighting wasn't really okay. At least I didn't think so.

Hmm . . . let it go and ignore the almost-non-existent highlights that started too far out from my scalp or re-highlight? I'll take option B, Alex. So off to the store yet again. I didn't think locating a highlighting kit for dark brown hair would be so difficult. But that's what I get for thinking.

Some brands only offered kits for blondes. Since I wasn't planning on the zebra look, I continued the search. Success, at last! A "Frost & Design" kit that claims it's for "Light Brown to Dark Brown Long Hair" and "For Natural or Color-Treated Hair." It's H65 Caramel. Perfect.

Saturday morning rolls around and I'm ready to go. I decide that a thorough reading of the instructions would be prudent. You know, just so I don't end out with orange stripes or strips of hair falling out or a head of green lettuce (for all you Dick Van Dyke fans). Let's see . . .

"Do a preliminary strand test before you begin" - yeah, whatever. Those are for the nervous and cautious types, not a crazy, bold woman with more hair than brains!

"Be sure your hair is dry" Check. It really does dry . . . eventually.

"How to put on your highlighting cap. Comb hair straight back, or in the style that you like." Um, okay. I don't ever comb my hair, so that negates the "style that I like" version. I guess I'll go for the "hair straight (as it can be) back. Twenty minutes later, I've ripped out donated a couple handfuls or more of my hair to the trash can. (Side note: my hair is wavy, wild, and insane, so I just let it do its own thing. Thus, the "no combing" rule. We get along well this way.)

"Put on the Highlighting Cap and tie it snugly. Tuck hair in under cap." Time for a visual aid. For you.

See this cap?

See this hair?

To what can I liken this activity?

1. Putting a dozen greased cats into a coffee can?
2. Returning a set of fleece king-sized sheets to their ultra-sleek, teeny, little, zippered plastic bag?
3. Getting a room of twenty-five 3 year olds who've each just had a package of twinkies to sit still and quiet on one row of bleachers for 10 minutes? In height order?

I think you get the idea. Basically, there was NO WAY this hair was going to fit into that cap. But thinking myself fairly resourceful, I decide to start pulling some strands through the holes. Maybe this will free up some space inside the really tight cap-made-for-a-baby's-head. Then I can "tuck hair in under cap." Oops, there I go - thinking again.

Did I mention I have REALLY THICK hair? Or maybe you already noticed that from the picture! Maybe you also noticed the reason I NEVER comb my hair.

Moving right along, I've pulled some hair (sort of) through about 7-8 holes. A couple look like miniature fountains, as the length of the hair wouldn't come all the way through. Another one ripped into a bigger hole, creating the likelihood that I'd have a big old glob of highlighting substance right there on top of my head (also not a look I had in mind). Plus I'm really enjoying the metal crochet hook to yank my gigantic hair through teeny, tiny little holes. Yeah, that feels great. Sort of like having teeth pulled feels great.

So maybe this isn't such a good idea after all. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten one of those silly baby-bonnet-cap-type kits. Maybe they should put lycra in those. And some spandex. Oh, and a stylist in the box.

So I ran off to the store - again - and found another kit. The type with a little flat paintbrush, a large mascara brush, and NO made-for-a-Barbie-doll-head cap. Much better.

While beginning yet another hair experiment upon myself, a song pops uninvited into my head. "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon. Do you suppose God was using Ms. Simon to tell me something?


Anonymous said...

From your profile picture, your hair doesn't look that thick. Wow! You've got me beat!

I'm throughly impressed that you can do your own color with good results. I tried it a few times and it wasn't pretty. You know its bad when the little neighbor boy says something and his mother punches him to be quiet.

Dianne - Bunny Trails said...

Most of the time my hair doesn't look that thick (praise God for that!). I use any number of hair products to keep it under control.

Oh, bummer, Gina! I think if I had straight hair my mistakes would show up more. Since it's full of texture, you can't really tell how good or bad it is. I like having sneaky hair like that. :D

Anonymous said...

I started going gray when I was 16. At least I wasn't like my dad who had a full head of gray hair at 18. For the longest time I was able to get away with Sun-In. 25 years later..Not anymore.

I really like Revlon's 2 tone color with high lights it is just so darn expensive.

The last 2 months I have been using Clarol Nice & Easy boosting color glaze--Dark blonde/Light Brunette. It seems to be the cheaper of all the color products and for this mother of teens, on disability completely gray not yet 45 it works really well. It tinges my gray locks so they look like professional highlights.

My daughter has hair like yours. It is like gold however.

When she was 3 she was in the bathroom a very long time--Kaysea are you Ok? I would call through the door. YES! She finaly came out with STRAIGHT WET HAIR all smooth. She proclaimed proudly See Mom? I got all the curls out--no curls.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that as her hair was drying it was starting to Boing curls in the back.

She loves her hair now and Brother (15) seems to JUST discovered his hair. He Is So VAIN! HE has those precious blonde curls which he STRAIGHTENS by the way all the way down to his shoulders. His bands curl under his chin.

Daddy from the military wants him to get it cut--Mediator Mom says he is asking for permission to go get a job...let them tell him to cut it--No Cut, No Job.

This way we aren't the bad guys which we seem to be every other day of late. It is the nasty boss who won't give him a job until its cut.

Love your pictures.

Dianne - Bunny Trails said...

It's just been the past few years +1 or 2 that I've been using this. It's a L'oreal multi-tonal kit that you do the color and then the highlights. It's more than most at the store, but definitely less than going to a salon! I've been quite happy with it, but I don't know what happened this time. I just did a poor job of highlighting.

When I was in 6th grade, I had waist-length, stick-straight hair. Its texture has obviously changed over the years. And yes, I used to blow-dry it, use a curling iron on it, etc. I even had a phase where I got it permed! Ha! Ha!

That's too funny about your daughter. And one day your son won't believe he spent all that time straightening his hair. Of course, if he cuts it and lets it be natural, no one would recognize him! :D

carrie said...

all I can say is wow. brave woman.

Anonymous said...

I'm evious of all that hair! I've been losing mine at an alarming rate for the past year.

Can I borrow that cap?


Kelli said...

You do have alot of hair. I love thick hair. I put alot of junk in it to get the natural curls to look half way decent. Moose, curl cream, root boost, two kinds of hairspray. just keep piling it on and use a defuser or hairdryer on low for the blower part (brain freeze) and scrunch. and some layers.

Anonymous said...

I use the Loreal mascara two things in one kit, too!

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