I want to pick one thing and do it very, very well.
This followed shortly after Jasmine had been showing a couple photos from each of the five students (The CreativeLive Five) who attended her class live and in person. She was talking to Victoria about not only her photos, but her three words (she challenges people to choose the three words that represent their brand). Victoria was having a hard time, because she felt as if she's all over the place and couldn't really nail down something specific. I am in the same boat. Just look at my blog name and byline...it pretty much says it all.
Then Nate Perkes shared a Chase Jarvis quote:
It's easier to be inspired than it is to create.
This all just hit me like a ton of bricks.
I. HAVE. NO. FOCUS.
Well, not a singular focus, anyway. Sometimes I can BE focused on something. But I want to do a little of everything, it seems. Sitting here in my studio, I look around and can list at least a dozen things I WANT to do. Because they're fun. Because they're cool. Just because. Whatever.
And then I wonder WHY on earth I'm so scattered and fragmented and hopping all over the bunny trails of my life?!?! It's because I'm my own worst enemy. I have no boundaries on the things I want to do. The funny (in a pathetic sort of way) thing is that I'm actually back in the same place I was probably nine or ten years ago.
Overextended. Spread too thin.
The big difference is that last time it was with outside commitments. Various ministries at church, my own business, volunteering at school, etc. I couldn't give my best to anything. Worst of all, my family just got leftovers. And I was not a happy, balanced person. Life was spinning totally out of control for me. But I would never say "no" to anyone.
Fast forward to 2010 and I'm doing the exact same thing. I LOVE blogging and reading blogs and hopping around the internet visiting peeps on FB, Twitter, blogs, etc. So I spend a ridiculous amount of time doing it.
I LOVE photography, so I buy books on photography, read photography blogs, join online communities, etc., and spend a ridiculous amount of time doing that.
I LOVE to sew, so I whip out stuff like crazy for awhile, buy books, look at sewing sites, bookmarking a ton of them, think of all these groovy things I could sew and sell. And spend a ridiculous amount of time doing that.
I LOVE to scrapbook, so I have magazines and sites and coupons and supplies and a ton of photos and just want to scrapbook. And spend a ridiculous amount of time reading the books & sites, and wanting to participate in classes.
I LOVE to write . . . I think you get the idea by now.
Never mind that I also have a family. And truly, my primary ministry from God (outside of my relationship with Him) is being a complement to my husband and discipling our boys. On that note, I homeschool those two teenage boys. Of course, there's a TON of other responsibilities and choices in my life, but it's pretty clear why I have a colander for a brain.
Unlike Jasmine, I want to pick 21 things and do them all very well.
Note to self: THAT is impossible. THAT is self-defeating. THAT will make you crazy!!!!
So. I think I need to spend a little quiet time working through the things of my life. Even more, praying about them and seeing what direction God wants me to go.
I WANT to be able to pick one thing and tdo it very, very well.
I don't want to BE Jasmine, but I want to be a better, more focused, less scattered version of ME.