My Own Advice

That darned Jasmine Star. She's really messed with my very messy life. She's got me all thinking about things in my life that I was merrily being oblivious to . . . or ignoring, perhaps.

Why is it so hard to take your own advice? Or is it just me? I can have the best, most encouraging words for other people, but I never believe them for me. What's up with that?

After my post about focus, I've been pondering this. Why am I so afraid to just step out and take a risk? I feel that I live a spread-too-thin, wannabe life. I'm afraid to say anything that I want to do out loud. That makes it too real and someone might hold me accountable. Then if I never do it, I didn't really fail. Lame, isn't it? Kind of an ostrich viewpoint of life.

The silly thing is that I can't even tell you what I'm NOT doing right now that I think I WANT to do. But there are things that weave in and out of my life on a regular basis. I've been so good at just pushing them back into the sand with my head that sometimes I don't even notice or think about them.



Maybe I need to start giving myself advice. When I head down the path of all that negative self-talk, I should step off to the side and give me a good talking to. Tell myself the things that I would tell a friend. In the relative privacy of my room, of course. I might be in trouble if someone else watched that kind of nonsense. They'll be calling in for a pretty white jacket, if you know what I mean.

First things first, though. Before I try and figure out any kind of jumping-off-the-building, risk-taking moves, I still need to quiet down and pare down. When I was talking to John last night, I told him that I had done a very good job of saying "no" to outside activities over at the front door. But the other me was at the back door, inviting in all sorts of other fun things to do. So now I have to start giving some of them the boot. Narrow down the options and focus on doing something very well, instead of doing 271 things mediocre-ly.

Epiphany: Focus

One major thing that hit me during the last day of Jasmine's class - she is SO incredibly focused. No pun intended. She's always looking at how to best leverage her time and energy for her brand. She is always asking if an activity is moving her business where she wants it to go. Someone asked her if she pursues any other creative avenues and also if she would ever consider writing a book or e-book on photography business. She hesistated and then said:

I want to pick one thing and do it very, very well.

This followed shortly after Jasmine had been showing a couple photos from each of the five students (The CreativeLive Five) who attended her class live and in person. She was talking to Victoria about not only her photos, but her three words (she challenges people to choose the three words that represent their brand). Victoria was having a hard time, because she felt as if she's all over the place and couldn't really nail down something specific. I am in the same boat. Just look at my blog name and byline...it pretty much says it all.

Then Nate Perkes shared a Chase Jarvis quote:

It's easier to be inspired than it is to create.

This all just hit me like a ton of bricks.

I.   HAVE.   NO.   FOCUS.

Well, not a singular focus, anyway. Sometimes I can BE focused on something. But I want to do a little of everything, it seems. Sitting here in my studio, I look around and can list at least a dozen things I WANT to do. Because they're fun. Because they're cool. Just because. Whatever.

And then I wonder WHY on earth I'm so scattered and fragmented and hopping all over the bunny trails of my life?!?! It's because I'm my own worst enemy. I have no boundaries on the things I want to do. The funny (in a pathetic sort of way) thing is that I'm actually back in the same place I was probably nine or ten years ago.

Overextended. Spread too thin.

The big difference is that last time it was with outside commitments. Various ministries at church, my own business, volunteering at school, etc. I couldn't give my best to anything. Worst of all, my family just got leftovers. And I was not a happy, balanced person. Life was spinning totally out of control for me. But I would never say "no" to anyone.

Fast forward to 2010 and I'm doing the exact same thing. I LOVE blogging and reading blogs and hopping around the internet visiting peeps on FB, Twitter, blogs, etc. So I spend a ridiculous amount of time doing it.

I LOVE photography, so I buy books on photography, read photography blogs, join online communities, etc., and spend a ridiculous amount of time doing that.

I LOVE to sew, so I whip out stuff like crazy for awhile, buy books, look at sewing sites, bookmarking a ton of them, think of all these groovy things I could sew and sell. And spend a ridiculous amount of time doing that.

I LOVE to scrapbook, so I have magazines and sites and coupons and supplies and a ton of photos and just want to scrapbook. And spend a ridiculous amount of time reading the books & sites, and wanting to participate in classes.

I LOVE to write . . . I think you get the idea by now.

Never mind that I also have a family. And truly, my primary ministry from God (outside of my relationship with Him) is being a complement to my husband and discipling our boys. On that note, I homeschool those two teenage boys. Of course, there's a TON of other responsibilities and choices in my life, but it's pretty clear why I have a colander for a brain.

Unlike Jasmine, I want to pick 21 things and do them all very well.

Note to self: THAT is impossible. THAT is self-defeating. THAT will make you crazy!!!!

So. I think I need to spend a little quiet time working through the things of my life. Even more, praying about them and seeing what direction God wants me to go.

I WANT to be able to pick one thing and tdo it very, very well.

I don't want to BE Jasmine, but I want to be a better, more focused, less scattered version of ME.