A few weeks ago, it was time to do the hair thing. This kit has turned out quite nicely for a number of years now, but this time the highlighting wasn't really okay. At least I didn't think so.
Hmm . . . let it go and ignore the almost-non-existent highlights that started too far out from my scalp or re-highlight? I'll take option B, Alex. So off to the store yet again. I didn't think locating a highlighting kit for dark brown hair would be so difficult. But that's what I get for thinking.
Some brands only offered kits for blondes. Since I wasn't planning on the zebra look, I continued the search. Success, at last! A "Frost & Design" kit that claims it's for "Light Brown to Dark Brown Long Hair" and "For Natural or Color-Treated Hair." It's H65 Caramel. Perfect.
Saturday morning rolls around and I'm ready to go. I decide that a thorough reading of the instructions would be prudent. You know, just so I don't end out with orange stripes or strips of hair falling out or a head of green lettuce (for all you Dick Van Dyke fans). Let's see . . .
"Do a preliminary strand test before you begin" - yeah, whatever. Those are for the nervous and cautious types, not a crazy, bold woman with more hair than brains!
"Be sure your hair is dry" Check. It really does dry . . . eventually.
"How to put on your highlighting cap. Comb hair straight back, or in the style that you like." Um, okay. I don't ever comb my hair, so that negates the "style that I like" version. I guess I'll go for the "hair straight (as it can be) back. Twenty minutes later, I've
"Put on the Highlighting Cap and tie it snugly. Tuck hair in under cap." Time for a visual aid. For you.
See this cap?
See this hair?
To what can I liken this activity?
1. Putting a dozen greased cats into a coffee can?
2. Returning a set of fleece king-sized sheets to their ultra-sleek, teeny, little, zippered plastic bag?
3. Getting a room of twenty-five 3 year olds who've each just had a package of twinkies to sit still and quiet on one row of bleachers for 10 minutes? In height order?
I think you get the idea. Basically, there was NO WAY this hair was going to fit into that cap. But thinking myself fairly resourceful, I decide to start pulling some strands through the holes. Maybe this will free up some space inside the really tight cap-made-for-a-baby's-head. Then I can "tuck hair in under cap." Oops, there I go - thinking again.
Did I mention I have REALLY THICK hair? Or maybe you already noticed that from the picture! Maybe you also noticed the reason I NEVER comb my hair.
Moving right along, I've pulled some hair (sort of) through about 7-8 holes. A couple look like miniature fountains, as the length of the hair wouldn't come all the way through. Another one ripped into a bigger hole, creating the likelihood that I'd have a big old glob of highlighting substance right there on top of my head (also not a look I had in mind). Plus I'm really enjoying the metal crochet hook to yank my gigantic hair through teeny, tiny little holes. Yeah, that feels great. Sort of like having teeth pulled feels great.
So maybe this isn't such a good idea after all. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten one of those silly baby-bonnet-cap-type kits. Maybe they should put lycra in those. And some spandex. Oh, and a stylist in the box.
So I ran off to the store - again - and found another kit. The type with a little flat paintbrush, a large mascara brush, and NO made-for-a-Barbie-doll-head cap. Much better.
While beginning yet another hair experiment upon myself, a song pops uninvited into my head. "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon. Do you suppose God was using Ms. Simon to tell me something?