Does it Really Matter?

I am going to drone on and babble away about my inane life. Feel free to read, but feel equally free to click away. Consider yourself warned.

I really enjoy reading blogs and FB updates and Tweets of so many people out there in the blogosphere. But lately, I find that I spend too much time reading about everyone else's lives, much to the detriment of my own poor little blog. I used to write here. But these days, I'm doing good to get my Wordless Wednesday post up. Even the blogs that I used to love and read, I don't get around to any more.

I miss them.

Sometimes there's just too much of a good thing. Blogs, FB, and Twitter with all these links that take me down some bunny trail to very interesting, touching, humorous, and enjoyable sites. But you know how that goes . . . they lead to more interesting, touching, humorous, and enjoyable sites. And so on. Thirty-seven bunny trails and twenty-nine open tabs later and it's time to go to bed. Toss in a dozen emails to read, with a few needing a response, and it's well past bed time. Or even better, linking me down another bunny trail. To a new blog that I want to read and follow and add to my blogroll. Or perhaps follow on Twitter.

Lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

I'm also finding that every other blogger has a more-together life than me. In no time at all, I'm impressed and in awe of how much these other bloggers accomplish and feel even more crummy about how much I DON'T do. And as much as I never started blogging to BE someone, there are times I get caught up in feeling sorry for myself, being a nobody in the blogosphere. And yet, I don't think I really want that responsibility. I'm such a contradiction.

The reality is that if I were to unfollow and unfriend a whole slew of people in FB and Twitter, it wouldn't matter. I'd know less, which is sometimes hard to swallow. But why is that? Am I really that desperate to be in the know? Who cares? What does all this information and blog reading and following and friending really mean to the whole of my life? Is it adding value? I guess it has at times, but lately it just seems to be sucking my life away.

This past week, I found myself really disappointed that I missed the MckMama gathering that took place right here, in my own city. Especially because I was on the list to make it to the previously scheduled one in November. But I never even knew about this one until it was too late. Again, I have to ask why I care so much. Yes, I prayed for Stellan. But so did a ton of other people. Yes, I read MckMama's blog. So do a ton of other people. But I don't know her nearly as well as some of my other blog friends. But there's that immature, insecure part of me that wants to be included, wants to be liked, and wants to matter. Perhaps I should focus on mattering to my own circle - my family and friends.

I don't think it really matters if I ever read another blog post, ever leave another comment, or ever tweet again. As much as I wanted this life for some reason, I don't think it's particularly relevant in the scheme of all eternity.

It's time to rearrange the priorities in my blogging life. Go back to writing. For myself. I can't care if others read or comment. But it's a good place for me to record my own thoughts.

Go back to reading the handful of blogs that I truly love.

Say goodbye to the excess friends and tweeple in my life.

I love photography, want to improve my skills, and will continue my 365 Project at my photoblog.

And some day, I may have time to read more out here. Or not. But I don't think it really matters.



ps - IF, and this is an enormous IF, you are one of the people I no longer follow nor read nor whatever, please don't take this personally. Like that? Even though you are the people who don't ever come here, I'm concerned about not hurting your feelings. So I have to add this disclaimer.