Blindsided

You'd think I'd be more aware by now. You'd think I'd learn to be on the look out. But since it happens in a realm I don't see, I still wander off into complacency and forget that there is a very real battle with a very real enemy, who really doesn't want me to live a godly life. But here it is - spiritual warfare - right smack in my face.

The signs were there, too. We just wrapped up Ephesians chapter 6 and the armor of God this past weekend at church. Our little group just started the Daniel Bible study last Friday. I'm diligently trying to keep homeschool on track. The ladies' retreat is coming up. But did I recognize all the signs? Oh no. I just went skipping on down the trail, oblivious as could be, right into the big, dark forest.

Until last night.

I was getting very edgy and irritable. Generally annoyed with everything and nothing. Clutter in the house was screaming at me. My brain was flying around like a tilt-a-whirl, each seat filled with images of what I ought to be doing.

I finally had to escape to the bedroom, sit on the floor, and cry out to God. He quietly reminded me that the attack level had become elevated over the past couple of days. The enemy knows full well how and where to get me derailed. When things seem to spin wildly out of control and threaten to overwhelm me, I have a couple of "instinctive" coping mechanisms. Neither one works, by the way.

First, I just want to take a break for the next week. Nobody talk to me, no one get in my way, no homeschool, just leave me alone so that I am free to regain alleged control of my life. You can already see why this one doesn't pan out. I never did have any control anyway - that's God's thing, not mine. Mine is to take my burdens to Him, trust Him, and rest in Him. His is to control this life He's given me.

Second, I want to run away from it all. Yeah, escapism at its finest. The problem there is that it will all be there when I return. Only messier. That plan is equally unsuccessful.

For whatever reason, I seem to feel the need to run things through those first two silly and useless filters. Then I get to the place I should've come to. Or the person, I should say.

GOD

He is the only one who can lead me successfully through the minefield of distractions and irritations. He is the only one big and powerful enough to alleviate my anxieties. He is the only one who is completely capable of handling everything that comes my way. Not only that, He knew it was coming. WAY before I saw it.

So. Time to lay each burden, frustration, concern, and problem down. Time to let Him take over. The only job He gives me in return?


Seek Him

Listen to Him

Trust Him


His burden truly is light. I just have to make the choice to lay mine down in order to take on His.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Doesn't "rest for your souls" sound absolutely wonderful?

His Ways

I'm quite familiar with Isaiah 55:8-9 which says,

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are My ways," says the Lord.
"For as the heavens are highter than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts."

Yet here I sit - humbled, convicted, and blessed - all at the same time. My youngest son has earned (courtesy of his dear mother) the nickname Oblivious Man. There isn't much that he can't overlook or ignore, whether it's shoes in the middle of the floor, a gallon of milk he left on the table, or a stranger trying to walk past him as he blocks the Lego aisle. In keeping with the rules of "The Good Mother Teaching Manners to Her Sons" manual, I am forever harping on reminding him to be aware of other people and his surroundings. After all, if we are to live according to God's word, we really do have to be conscious of others. It is my hope that he will grow into a man with a heart for the Lord.

He is also the boy who prays mostly for things like playing video games, getting video games, getting to buy a new pack of Pirates, etc. Yes, he gives thanks also, but it's often for similar things. In all fairness, he does pray about getting along well with his brother and such things. It's not all about temporary things.

In elementary school, he had a friend for a number of years and they often had a somewhat tumultuous relationship. They were both quite strong-willed and didn't always demonstrate tactfulness in speaking towards each other. Surprisingly, though, they had a lot of fun and seemed to be good friends. Something happened their last year at the school (5th grade) which demolished their relationship. While I have a little idea of what took place, to this day, I am not entirely sure what happened. Ironically, my son doesn't really know either. There were times in the 5th grade where this former friend would call him names, threaten him, hit him, and try and turn other classmates against him. We prayed about it, he hung in there, and completed 5th grade. But the friendship was gone.

I was grateful that my son would be home with us for homeschool the next year. If he had continued in public school, they'd have been at the same school and I really didn't think that would be a good thing. We already lived a mere block apart, so the less exposure, the better, in my mind.

Every so often, he mentions this boy and talks about how much he enjoyed their friendship. As his mom, it was heartbreaking that their relationship had soured. He really missed it. My son is a very social young man and he doesn't like playing by himself. He's only 17 months younger than his brother, so his life has always involved another child. He's the one who is always asking to play with someone - a friend, his cousin, his brother.

Fast forward to this evening after church. He comes over to me and asks for $13. I promptly tell him that he can't have it. Then I ask why he wants it (I know, that makes no sense - see previous post). He wants to buy a small Bible.

He wants to buy the Bible for the former friend.
The one who became his ex-friend.
The one who bullied him.
The one who hurt him.
The one of whom he has only fond memories.

I ask why he wants to buy him a Bible.

"Because I don't want him to suffer."

My dear, tender-hearted son doesn't want this other young man to step into eternity without a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Wow!

God's working in my son's life. And it's changing his heart. Right before my very eyes, even though I don't always see it. Yes, my son is listening to God, even when he doesn't listen to me. And isn't that the ultimate goal? That he would learn to listen to God, obey His word, and live a life that glorifies and honors God. I think God is smiling tonight because a 12 year old boy bought a Bible for a former friend (yes, I recanted on my you-can't-have-$13 position).

When we got home, he sat down at the computer and typed a letter to give him with the Bible. He told me this was the first evangelistic thing he had done.

Thank You and praise You, Lord! I'm glad Your ways are so far beyond me.

Edited to add: If you know my son, please don't mention this to him - he would probably be embarrassed.

Is Living Simply the Answer?

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.” Romans 7:15

“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.” Romans 7:18

I suppose I should not be surprised that I struggle so often with doing what I want or ought to do, yet I continue in bad habits that hang onto me for dear life. Even the Apostle Paul had difficulty in this area all those years ago. I’ve always thought that much of my struggle has to do with living a distracted and fragmented life. Yet Paul didn’t have the things that I have to take my eyes off the goal. I have a phone – at all times, thanks to the development of the portable, cellular version. I have a computer, complete with access to that ever-inviting, all-knowing worldwide web. I have television (more than one, of course) to entice me away from my own reality. I have more “stuff” enter my house in just one year than Paul likely ever had in his entire life. I have a library card, which allows me to bring home numerous books on a regular basis. Of course, that’s in addition to the hundreds of books and magazines I already own or purchase. I have a stereo with myriad choices of CDs and stations to which I can listen. And that’s just in my house. I could list the many things outside my home that are available to me – but I won’t.

Somehow I have clung to the ideal that if I were to live a “simpler” life, then certainly I could live a much holier life. Yet when I read Paul’s words, I think that maybe the struggle is really not as much a matter of what distracts me, as it is a matter of my flesh. Though my flesh is influenced by these many diversions, I would still have to contend with its self-centered, ungodly desires, even if I were sitting on an island with none of the aforementioned things. It turns out that the stuff I try to wrangle under control is not the real problem. Nor is controlling it the answer.

The answer lies in Paul’s letter to the believers in Rome.

“Oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Romans 7:24-25

“And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies, through His Spirit who dwells in you.” Romans 8:10-11

It is through the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me that I will be able to overcome my flesh. This is why, in Romans 12:1-2, Paul implores his brothers and sisters in the Lord to “present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

As I spend time in God’s word, my mind will be transformed away from the patterns of this world and its lusts. If I will focus upon offering my self as a living sacrifice to the Lord, my slate is cleared to hear from Him, to be led by His will. I do not have to live in bondage to my clamorous flesh. I have victory because of the finished work of Christ at the cross, not because I've simplified my environment.

Messy Modern Math

Back in January, Sprittibee had a post about modern math, including a link to a very interesting YouTube clip by M.J. McDermott. Because my boys were in public school through the 5th grade, I was somewhat familiar with some of this "reformed math." While my kids didn't start out with it, it was being phased in during their elementary career.

I came face to face with it when my then-4th grade son sat down to do his math homework one night and I was completely unable to help him. It was not, however, because I'm bad at math. Quite the contrary, I've always enjoyed math, was in advanced classes and honors algebra. Helping my kids with math homework had never been an issue.

But here was my son with his 4th grade math which used a new method of multiplication. Contrary to all math texts I'd ever used, this was merely a workbook, so it did not contain pages with actual illustrations and instructions for said method. Since it was very new to my son, he couldn't exactly explain to me how it was supposed to work. I ended out going into his class the next morning and letting his teacher know that he did not complete his homework because he didn't know how to do it and I was utterly lost. The teacher chuckled knowingly and informed me that I could have a copy of the "reference book" (the one where they actually teach these methods) to keep at home for future homework help.

The remainder of the year went relatively okay and my son ended with decent math grades. He only had one more year at public school until I began to homeschool him.

A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a mom from my church who has homeschooled her children a number of years and one of her children is currently in a public school where they use this wonderful new math. It seeems that essays are a regular part of modern math. And the explanation for "how" you got your answer is of more value than the actual answer.

Wow! Is that brilliant, or what? How does this prepare a person for life as an adult? Can you imagine telling your boss, "Gee, I'm sorry Mr. Johnson, I realize my final figures may not have been exactly right, but let me show you how I got there." I don't think Mr. Johnson will really care one iota! A well-worded report won't make up for losses incurred by someone who doesn't know how to perform math functions. Or what about your tax return? "Gee, IRS, I don't know why you don't agree with me. Let me email you my essay on how I came up with you owing me $5,000, because I'm just sure that I don't owe you $2,000." Yeah, that'll really fly.

I am not opposed to finding ways to help our children learn. But it was very eye-opening to watch Ms. McDermott's video. Some of these methods seem to be confusing and leave a lot of room for error.

I think what has surprised me the most about all of this is that math is one area I really would never have seen changing to such a great degree. I mean it's based on concrete facts, black and white data. But that's when it clicked. This is a spiritual issue. Satan is using our culture to blur the lines of truth and fact. Once that happens, there are no absolutes. But math and is made up of absolutes. Two plus two is always four. So it should come as no surprise that math is being messed with. Because if being right just means you came up with a good explanation, you are no longer accountable nor responsible for the end result. This is just one more way to try and erase absolute truth. One more attempt to push God out of our country. And one more reason to take a stand and homeschool my boys and teach them THE truth.

"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through Me.'" John 14:6

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32