9.18.2007

Blindsided

You'd think I'd be more aware by now. You'd think I'd learn to be on the look out. But since it happens in a realm I don't see, I still wander off into complacency and forget that there is a very real battle with a very real enemy, who really doesn't want me to live a godly life. But here it is - spiritual warfare - right smack in my face.

The signs were there, too. We just wrapped up Ephesians chapter 6 and the armor of God this past weekend at church. Our little group just started the Daniel Bible study last Friday. I'm diligently trying to keep homeschool on track. The ladies' retreat is coming up. But did I recognize all the signs? Oh no. I just went skipping on down the trail, oblivious as could be, right into the big, dark forest.

Until last night.

I was getting very edgy and irritable. Generally annoyed with everything and nothing. Clutter in the house was screaming at me. My brain was flying around like a tilt-a-whirl, each seat filled with images of what I ought to be doing.

I finally had to escape to the bedroom, sit on the floor, and cry out to God. He quietly reminded me that the attack level had become elevated over the past couple of days. The enemy knows full well how and where to get me derailed. When things seem to spin wildly out of control and threaten to overwhelm me, I have a couple of "instinctive" coping mechanisms. Neither one works, by the way.

First, I just want to take a break for the next week. Nobody talk to me, no one get in my way, no homeschool, just leave me alone so that I am free to regain alleged control of my life. You can already see why this one doesn't pan out. I never did have any control anyway - that's God's thing, not mine. Mine is to take my burdens to Him, trust Him, and rest in Him. His is to control this life He's given me.

Second, I want to run away from it all. Yeah, escapism at its finest. The problem there is that it will all be there when I return. Only messier. That plan is equally unsuccessful.

For whatever reason, I seem to feel the need to run things through those first two silly and useless filters. Then I get to the place I should've come to. Or the person, I should say.

GOD

He is the only one who can lead me successfully through the minefield of distractions and irritations. He is the only one big and powerful enough to alleviate my anxieties. He is the only one who is completely capable of handling everything that comes my way. Not only that, He knew it was coming. WAY before I saw it.

So. Time to lay each burden, frustration, concern, and problem down. Time to let Him take over. The only job He gives me in return?


Seek Him

Listen to Him

Trust Him



His burden truly is light. I just have to make the choice to lay mine down in order to take on His.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

Doesn't "rest for your souls" sound absolutely wonderful?

7 comments:

Bev said...

Like you, and likely all of us on any given day, laying the burdens down isn't my struggle. Grabbing them back when I get up off my knees is my problem. Praying you sort it out, leave it there, and go away feeling refreshed. xoxoox

Anonymous said...

Funny you should mention the spiritual battles going on...the kids and I are memorizing Phil 4:4-7 and today I gave them permission to gently remind me of these verses when I feel like I am out of control and am not laying my burdens down. I sure hope your day is better and that you can see the Lord's hand upon you and your family! love, Jenny

Amy Grant Bayliss said...

Wow!

You just spoke right to my heart. This was good. I too am the running type and love the illusion of control. I do however, prefer the reality of God's divine hand in all things.

Thanks for an awesome post!

I've missed you girl! I am glad to be back!

Bunny Trails said...

Bev - that would be the piece I left out of my post - not taking the problem back! You're right, it's harder to leave it there than to lay it down to begin with.

Jenny - of course, it's no surprise that you're there too! I suspect that all 5 of us will face this. We can all pray for each other. :D

Amy - God's hand is always so much better than mine! Glad you're back, Mrs. Bayliss! ;-)

Thanks for commenting, ladies!

Rachelle G. said...

Thanks for this insightful post and sharing your heart and your struggles. I could write the exact same thing. The enemy is always out to get us and he is so clever. We do need to be constantly diligent. Great reminder!

Homeschool Housewife said...

Wow. You are such a find. This post is EXACTLY where I am right now. There are some days where I just feel attacked from all sides lately. But, you know if you weren't doing a good job holding on to your faith and raising your children in a godly manner, the enemy would not be spending so much time attacking you. So, look to those attacks as a badge of honor. You are living your life in a way that is giving the enemy fits, and as hard as it is, he is NOT winning. Keep going. Keep praying. God is with you and through Him there is no battle or attack you can not overcome.

Michele

Bunny Trails said...

Rachele, staying diligent can be such a challenge with all the distractions but it's so important.

Michele, we used to say that if you were being attacked, you must be doing something right. While it goes against the grain, I think we should be more concerned when life is easy and there doesn't seem to be any attack! :D

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