Spider Elimination

I don't like spiders. I don't like to look at spiders. I don't like to think about spiders. I don't like them invading my space - which is pretty much a half mile radius around me. Minimum

So I was in the laundry room (it's not really much of a room so much as it's a space with appliances, a furnace, a water heater, a couple of shelves on the wall, and a louvered door. There is a small area in front of the washer and dryer where one can stand while loading and unloading said appliances.

So I'm down there doing laundry duty last night after everyone had gone to bed, when something kind of fluttered past my face. I swiped at it a little - it was probably a moth (thanks goodness moth season is nearly over!) - and then I realized that whatever it was, it had just dropped to the floor. Near my feet. It was a smallish black spider. I considered ignoring it, but that's just not in my DNA. I'm never good at squishing them, and my hero husband was asleep, and I didn't think that waking him for this smallish spider would be particularly considerate of me. So I did the next best thing.

I surveyed the various laundry products on the shelf, found one that sprays (stain remover) and sprayed the smallish black spider. Of course, he assumed the curled-up spider position until I stopped spraying and then he promptly attempted to walk quickly and spiderishly toward me and the door. The door that leads to the family room. The family room where he is NOT allowed to be. So I sprayed some more. Lather, rinse, repeat. He's still headed toward the family room. Really? He couldn't just go the other direction, under the dryer, and die there peacefully out of sight? Apparently not.

spider - shout

Since stain remover wasn't affecting him as quickly as I'd like, I grabbed the pine scented air freshener (the cat box lives in the laundry room). I gave him a good dose of that. Yet, being a diligent smallish black spider, he soldiered on toward my family room. Well, that was just enough. It was time to take more powerful action against this intruder.

spider - pine

It was time for the big guns - yep, compressed air.

spider - air

I shot that smallish black spider violently back under the dryer so he could die a quiet, pine-scented death.

I also compressed-air-dried the air freshener splotch on the floor. The stain remover splotch was a little thicker, so it required a paper towel.

Au revoir leetle black spider.


This wasn't a particularly funny or interesting story last night when it happened. But when I told John about this morning, I found myself laughing hysterically. Sometimes saying a thing aloud sounds much funnier. Of course, it could also be that I woke up funny this morning, so most anything could set me off today.


Pam said...

HAHAHA!!! This IS funny...cause I can just see you screaming (quietly so as not to wake your men folk....kinda like our trying to stifle our roaring laughter in which we had to move to your garage with computer in hands to laugh ourselves silly and til our sides hurt in order to again not wake your men folk). Your searching franticaly for something - anything, to spray on the poor, "smallish", defenseless creature. It's still funny after reading it again..... Thanks for the laughs, Dianne!!!

So as I am writing this...a bug - 1/2" long, (seems more like 3 INCHES long tho) dark brown, slender bug, drops from my floor lamp ONTO my computer - very close to my fingers which are flying across the keyboard typing to harass you about your near deathly fright from the poor defenseless little spider....and I EEEK!! as I see it almost come into contact with my flying fingers. I flick it to get it off my said keys, and it becomes lodged next to the laptop lid hinge....how to get the icky bug OUT of between the lid and the bottom of the laptop...without touching the icky bug with my fingers....flick, flick and fortunatly its is dislodges and flies off my computer and onto the floor....right next to my jug of freshly brewed Rosemary Ice Tea... ICK - shiverly ICK!!!

Don't even want to think about how it possibly could have gone DOWN my straw and into my tea without knowing it....until taking a big swig of not so fresh, BUGGY Rosemary Ice Tea.. that would have been SO gross!!!

Dianne - Bunny Trails said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! That is hilarious, Pam!! That'll teach you to make fun of me. And I didn't even quietly squeal. :-)

Skeller said...

thanks for my morning laugh - this is a hilarious story. I so totally relate. Can't stand spiders. I'm forever telling my boys that as the only girl in the house, it is NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO KILL THE SPIDERS!!!

Anonymous said...

Jesus made the spider, loves the spider, wants the spider to live it's spider life.......

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...